I would normally post this on the VMB site, but since it is 99% pertaining to being pregnant and 1% about being infertile, here it goes…
Dear Asshole,
As if I don’t read enough about what’s ahead, we have to deal with people that foretell the horrors and shit we are about to encounter. All of the pregnancy books, child-preparation books, “what to expect in week ____” websites and e-news letters have forewarned me that I’m about to feel like crap, my back is going to ache more, I’m going to swell to unimaginable proportions, I’m not going to be able to breathe, I’m going to have noxious looking bodily fluids leaking from my body, I’m never going to sleep again and children cost a couple of gazillion dollars to raise. I knew I might start to feel a little bit of fear and anxiety towards our upcoming birth and child-rearing, but I have a little bit of a problem when nay-sayers and dooms-dayers compound that fear and anxiety every chance they get. ”Get all the sleep you can! You’ll not get any after the baby is here!” ”Oh, you think you’re having a bad day now? Wait until the baby gets here!” - just to mention a few. Well, thank you for the warning! If it’s so fucking bad then why are we still inhabiting this planet? If it is so fucking hard, then why don’t you just get rid of one or two or a few of yours? I know of a few good couples that wouldn’t mind being parents! What? You only have one child? I feel really sorry then for the poor bastard that has four! What you couldn’t figure out where the big fat headache came from after having the first two? How the hell do they ever make it?
Well, what if I told you that my child might actually have a clean face and hands and that he might actually be a joy to be around and that I might actually want to have him with me 24/7? What if I said that I can guarantee that i will be able to take at least one shower or bath a day and enjoy it for what it is? What if I say that I can actually go to that restaurant or shopping mall or festival or parade, wearing my baby — keeping him close to me right where he wants to be? Who says that’s not an option? What if the problem with your child is that maybe you actually did something wrong and made your situation worse? It is possible! Maybe I will be a better parent than you. :O
The crux of this matter is that you have no idea what our lives are going to be like and neither do we. We might find ourselves forsaking all of our worldly pleasures and hitting the road with our one child in tow doing exactly what makes us happy, whether that may be sleeping under the stars or traveling far and wide. So please, if you don’t have anything good to say, keep your fat ass pie hole shut! We are facing our own stresses just fine without having to be freaked out about what would or could happen. By the way, thanks for the motivation and determination to have this natural birth. I’m no candy-ass and I’m going to do my best. I don’t fear the pain and I have yet to feel the least bit anxious about what is going to happen to me. I don’t know where the strength has come from, but I just know that it is there and I’m going to cultivate it. Now excuse me while I go do my 200 kegels …
love,
Patches
p.s. – Infertiles Rule! Don’t underestimate us!
Oh. My. Gosh. A-freakin’-men! You could have posted this to VMB – once a vet, always a vet! I love every single solitary word that you unleashed here! Why do people feel the need to focus on the negative? I mean, parenting can be tough, but not so tough that the negative is so in your face, kwim? I hate it when people do that crap.
I looked up the Southern Decadence Ball and MAN – that’s some heavy duty partying. Two weeks’ worth, and it’s going on right now! I’d LOVE to go to that drag show! Have you ever been before?
I kwym, girlfriend!
I’ve never been to Southern Decadence and honestly I’m afraid to go to those bars. Some gay people are very anti-straight. But, with a little sista support, I may be able to grow some balls!
Hey Sweetie – I am checkin’ in (TRYING to get back into the blog-swing-O-things, LOL).
I can verify that you can adopt a full-sledged toddler and NOT be sleep-deprived nor have a child who resembles PigP.en from Charl.ie Bro.wn!
Every parent-child relationship has parts that are easy, and parts that are challenging. But going into it with a POSITIVE attitude (as you are!) is key!
SOOOOO proud and happy for you – and in awe of your kick-ass-and-take-no-prisoners attitude!!!
Oh you nailed it! Thank you so much for putting that so well! Do people think we’re idiots and don’t know what we’re getting into when we decide to get pregnant? Let alone all the time and effort people like you and I put into getting pregnant? Of course we have worries and fears like everyone else. But we also are looking forward to all the joy of finally getting to be parents as well. We know it’ll be hard work – but don’t tell us it’ll all be bad either. Rock on mama…
Update!!! I was just going back and reading some of my old posts. I was SO right! My baby is a joy to be around, I take naps, sometimes I sleep through the night, I go out and play and eat in restaurants and my son always looks great, clean hands and face and all. Take that all you terd-throwers!!!!!!